Laura Maschal
The power of pink, sparkly things
Published February 17, 2010 | 
Yesterday, I gave Mecklenburg County Commissioner Bill James a big, gay Valentine.
It seems silly now, but I kept thinking he would try to talk me out of the idea that GAY IS OK, as our giant card read, and that I’d crumble under the pressure. But once I got up to speak, it was easy. It was easy to assert that being gay is OK; that if you’re so unused to referring to gay people in polite company, you go with “homo,” that gay is a far better choice. It was easy to announce that CRANE is happy to engage Bill James in respectful dialogue. Because it was the right thing to do.
When I first heard that Bill James used the slur “homo” to refer to a fellow commissioner’s dead son, I was shocked, and before long, just sad. What would make anyone think that’s OK?
But finally, if a public figure says just the most recent awful thing in a long history of awful things, why not go ahead and say, ENOUGH?
Thanks to everyone who signed our card and added their comments. I am glad there are those of us who expect more from our elected officials, and aren’t afraid to say so. Even in pink, sparkly letters — they definitely seemed to make Commissioner James a bit uncomfortable.
Here’s my statement:
Good evening, commissioners, in particular Commissioner James.
I’m here tonight to present a Valentine to Commissioner Bill James on behalf of gay and gay-friendly Charlotteans. As you can see, our “conversation heart” lets you know that Gay … Is OK.
From your inflammatory statements over the past few months, including the use of the slurs “homo” and “tranny,” we know that you have some work to do to better support all of your constituents. That’s why CRANE — Charlotte Rainbow Action Network for Equality — is offering our support in beginning that process. The first step would be to embrace respect, even for those with whom you disagree, and stop using anti-gay slurs. If you need a descriptor, we’re fine with the word “gay.” Like the card says, it’s OK!
But more importantly, as the inside of the card reads, we believe that all of us — gay or straight — can and should feel loved, no matter whom we love. We’ll be checking in with you this year in hopes that you can turn your attitude around and treat us as fellow Charlotteans worthy of respect.
If you’d like to speak with us further in a spirit of openness and respect, we’re happy to arrange that. You can get in touch with us via rainbowaction.org. Thank you.
Hope to see everyone out on Friday, February 26 in downtown Charlotte in support of repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell!
Marriage equality comes home
I think I never really thought I’d get married till today. Not legally; not without flying off to Iowa or Massachusetts or Canada and accepting that only a few family members could be with me. Not without knowing that in the eyes of my state, my city, my country, and a goodly lot of my fellow citizens, my marriage wouldn’t be real.
I lived in D.C. till two years ago, when I came back home to Charlotte, and it’s kinda still my town. The photos of giddy soon-marrieds on the steps of the courthouse reminds me of that one Saturday I got lost downtown looking for lunch, and my friend and I ended up wandering all the way from the Mall to Chinatown, talking much faster than we walked. The Superior Court is near the Judiciary Square Metro station, which I’d only pass through on the way to Metro Station to “go Amtrak!” Those courthouse steps aren’t exactly the sort of courthouse steps you’d remember, I don’t think I even have a specific memory of them, but the photos sparked a pang of homesickness.
Like this amazingly cute couple:
D.C. isn’t home to me anymore, despite now being home to marriage equality. Home is where the heart is, and Charlotte’s where I get to be with my family, my Valentine, and of course my pink & sparkly activist friends. Some day we won’t have to line up at the Government Center to protest Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, or march there to stake our claim to marriage equality. We’ll be lined all the way up 4th Street waiting to confidently request what’s rightfully ours. We’ll be equal.
While I’m at it, I have to plug the New York Times’ Bay Area blog and its incredible, on-the-ground coverage of the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case, which if you don’t know is going to blow the lid off this whole “traditional marriage” mumbo-jumbo. Honestly, I think it already did, simply by exposing that the h8ters have no rational basis whatsoever for preventing fabulous gay folks from getting married. Closing arguments haven’t been scheduled, so we don’t know when the ruling will come. Check out the Bay Area blog’s excellent summary on the possible outcomes of the case, and if you haven’t kept up on it, take some time to read their absorbing day-by-day breakdowns: